So I have once again have decided that I wanted to start a blog. I got everything prepared, the brand down, the logo, the “pillars”… everything.
Then I saw someone else’s blog and I thought, “I want mine to be like that!” I get online and search out blogs and templates to see what I want mine to be like. I get a good general idea and I’m super happy with it. Then I want to just fine tune my ideas, and bam! I see someone else’s blog that I want mine to be more like. More like than mine, the perfect blog that I took time to perfect.
This isn’t the only time I’ve done this, it’s more like every time I decide I want to do start a blog, I get the idea—> I research—> I plan it out —> I start to design and then all the sudden, I’m discouraged because I saw something better. Then I QUIT.
Well of course it’s better, dumbass. Their blog is built, it’s established, they have blog posts, THEY HAVE PUBLISHED SHIT. So why do I always do this?
Looking around and getting perspective I got clarity. Well it is a fear, hello FOMO. But what was I really missing out of? Well when I would see things better than mine, I would be worried that I wouldn’t grow a decent audience, I wouldn’t hit the algorithm, I wouldn’t reach my target audience… I was missing out on perfection, which is just the fear of not being good enough.
This is a form of self defense. Defense against what? Mostly your shitty inner critic that lies to you. If you keep tweaking for perfection, you never truly end up with a finished product to put out into the universe and possibly fail. And that’s what that is. It’s a protection loop. See something better —> fear of missing —>have to make it better—> never gets seen or judged.
After figuring that out, I thought that makes total sense but the one conclusion that I always come to when I have a realization like this is, I wish I had the lack of self-awareness that I had when I was a teen. As a teen, I didn’t give a shit. I just did it and was always happy with the outcome. I didn’t think about it. I just took action and why was that? I hadn’t yet processed the full-blown trauma that made me become an over thinker.
So now that I have the route problem, all I need to do is figure out how to stop overthinking that shit and just fucking do it.